Well, what can I say? I've finally take the monarch/mkpill and there's no going back now. I can't unlearn what I've been told. And it's killing me inside. It's ruined so many things for me that I struggle to find joy and can only look at the things I once liked with disgust. And now I know it's only a matter of time before I see a symbol in a video game and I can't play it any more. It's even ruining my relationships with people--one of my friends posted a photo of her and her dog and she's doing the ok hand sign and even though logically I know there is zero reason to suspect she's a satanist or anything, that's what my mind went to and I can't see her any differently. I have made several dances with use the ok sign or a hand over the eye or the I love you/devil horns one, but I'm definitely NOT a Satanist, or a devil worshiper, or part of the illuminati. Now I can't do those dances without cringing or changing the signs to a peace sign.
Please help. Is there any way to rectify this? I know most if not all the stuff I consume is controlled by (((them))) and it's so hard to tell what isn't. I can't even play Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild because of the triangles and the eyes, or FFXV because one of the characters likes to take photos and one of the many poses he can do is the ok sign over his eye. Can't even listen to its gorgeous soundtrack without wondering, is Yoko Shimamura a satanist too? Or an MK Ultra slave? A handler? All three? Am I a horrible person for liking this soundtrack? Should I not listen to it? I want to enjoy these things but I feel like it'd be wrong for me to enjoy them, or others would judge me. Can I still enjoy this stuff while being aware that it may/may not be pushing an agenda I don't like?
It makes me want to die, and I'm not being dramatic. By becoming less ignorant I have taken what little joy I had left out of me. Please, if you can, give me some advice. (And for the record, I'm not religious, and have no desire to read the bible or the torah or anything, so please don't recommend I do any of that. On that note, like I said, that doesn't mean I worship a/the devil or am a satanist--I'm not, and would never.)
