Hello guys!! I have been here for months since I tried to read every pages to make sure I didnt skip any comments about Jonghyun. It was really hard to complete and I still dont know how I could be such patient ^^.
I read all theories about his passing, at first I thought I believed Ranfan and some people here that Jonghyun didnt commit suicide. But after thinking about everything once again, maybe I am 50/50.
Things that make me believe he committed suicide:
He looked really empty, upset, unemotional at his last concert, like he really gave up, he already stopped fighting, stopped trying. He was known to be someone kind of perfectionist, he did everything with the highest responsibility and enthusiasm. So what he showed at his last concert meant he already gave it up.
He skipped the lines on the screen reminding him announcing his comeback to fans. So this could prove his preparation for leaving us.
His last post on instagram, it was the lyrics of a song about the pain, the sadness someone’s been suffering and they want to give up. The caption was “I pray I would not be hurt anymore”.
This is important, I see his mother and his sister can get well soon after his passing. Maybe they made sure he took his life and they think Jonghyun will be happy and peaceful eternally in heaven and that’s his decision and they respect it. So they can soon cope that tragedy. If Jjong was murdered I think the two of them would go crazy in pain and they would do anything to get justice despite any price to pay. We all know how close and loving Jjong was to his mom and sister. Theres no way they keep being silent like that if Jjong was killed. They didnt require autopsy or investigation maybe because they get enough clues to make sure he committed suicide, such as he used to talk to them about it, he used to once try killing himself but failed, or besides texting his sister he might also texted his mother, even telling them about his properties (information, password, etc). Only he know about his properties so if he sent message telling them about it and leave it to his sister they would know what was going on without doubt.
And what makes me confuse about his passing and believe it might have a half ability to be a murder is:
2017 is a year when I can see him improve a lot in everything. His appearance got more and more better, he gained weight and looked healthier. His performance skill and singing skill too improved a lot. In 2017 he only held solo concerts and SHINee concerts, and prepared Poet album. So I think he wasnt in a crazy schedule, he had enough free time to take a rest and care himself well. I know he was in depression but dont know how serious it was at that time. I dont know how he could take his life when he did concert only fews days before and filmed MV. His solo album was already complete and would be released a month after. He also called someone to talk about publishing his new book and buy snacks on the day he left. These things are just so weird. The letter from Nine cloud is weird too. Since its not Jjong’s handwritten letter I think it doesnt make much sense to me. And theres no way a close friend receiving that kind of letter and did nothing to prevent him. It was so fake.
So this is why till now I still find his passing mysterious and I dont totally believe in any sides, reports or theories. If he committed suicide, I think he had something really really bad happened in his late months that hit him hard. I dont think he left this world just because of depression or hes not good enough as expected or pressure from being an idol or antifans. He’s a very sensitive man but the way he sees and thinks about everything in this world is very deep, marture and open so he would not take his life ‘cuz of those things. He has a good family and good relationship with members. I think he has more reasons to stay than leave.
And I also read someone here talking about Teamin betraying him or taking advantages of him, even being part of the cause of his death. They also said the members except Key didnt shed a tear in Jjong’s funeral. I have to say that we cannot see what happens behind the curtains. Its really unfair to judge them just because they didnt cry there. Who knows part of them were dying inside. I dont know but I feel the relationship among them is real. If it not true they wouldnt be albe to go together that far. 13 years and even more. Jonghyun is not a stupid person to not realize something wrong if they treated him bad or took advantages of him. Everytime Jjong talked about his members he talked with all his honesty and sincerity. He cherished and loved them so much. Jonghyun used to say that only if it is still with the same members he will chose to be an idol again and they will never disband unless they physically fall apart. So we can see how loving they are with each other. You see Taemin trying to sing like Jjong or wearing clothes or posing pictures same as Jjong, I think its just the way he remembers his precious “hyung”. Jjong used to train and teach Taemin vocal so its not something strange at all to see Taemin sing like Jjong. I imagine if I lost someone whom I love so much and I still cannot get over, I would do as Taemin. So saying he’s trying to take Jjong’s place is so cruel as hell. This is just my opinion after crossing more than 700 pages. No one here knows the truth but its good to be albe to talk what we think without being considered disrespectful.
To 5hawol: I read the letter you post. Its so beautiful and meaningful. I admire the way he deeply thinks and feels about things in life. What a precious man!!!!
en.wikipedia.org
