Loss of faith, and perception of reality.

[Yellowbunzz tasty]

I've found myself in a rough predicament lately in terms of faith, especially after reading the thread posted by @seekinheart.(it just sparked what was already there).

So I struggled with a particular addiction before and after being saved, I even ventured on to feed that addiction the morning before I was baptized as a means to enjoy myself one more time before I give my life to Christ. Well... that didn't end well since I lived a full year going on and off this strenuous addiction to the point where I straight up gave up because I felt as though I couldn't hurt God anymore. However that slowly turned into hating him and that turned into ignoring him.

I spent the last 9 months of the year placing my belief in subliminals and anything related to the law of attraction as a means of coping with life in general. I found myself in a spot where I began actively trying to find spells, quantum jumping on YouTube using candles and stuff just to get, real friends, an actual home, the best grades, a good family dynamic and my ideal appearance.

These all had a hold on me despite them not working and instead my grades were plummeting despite putting in work.

And during this time I was moreso interested in the occult to the point where I would go everyday just binging on videos about satanic elites, so much so they somewhat became my own twisted inspiration. (except for the killing babies part and r*pe and sacrifices.)

And throughout this journey I've learnt some things since the LOA has a focal point on the 'you, you, you' campaign. It's that people will treat you based on how you let them and that people will love you when you're as sinful as them (this includes family). And throughout that journey I developed an underlying hatred for people and wondered why Christians even waste time trying to convert people at times, people who are stubborn and selfish. I even began reciprocal relationships with my family and simply saw them as people I'd be able to live without in the future.

Moving along to my grades, I basically flunked my two subjects, the one I failed, the other I flunked miserably and this seemed like a revelation that the LOA would never work for me. Before this time I had watched some Christian tiktok which inspired me to go back to Christ and so I started, and the day I started was the last day I started switching my lights off to sleep.

I was terrified of sleeping because I was scared to be attacked, when I wouldn't partake in my habitual sin I'd simply be scared of sleeping however that wore off after a while and it was only due to forgetting that the devil exists, which was a bad mistake.

Now the same addiction is back and thriving and I simply can't stop.

Ive believed in faith based on works to which I've been told is bad, although I've felt God is more easy on letting other people sin, more loving while they get a free ticket to him meanwhile I do one thing and I feel screwed and condemned straight to hell.

Jesus Christ is coming, yes I'm happy because I want this world to end but I'll probably be in the lake of fire, am I scared? No, not really? I deserve it I guess

I don't feel God loves me, but I feel like he loves other people. Just not me. And I don't think I love him either anymore.

This is a rambling message however I hope you can understand.

 

[DavidSon]

Forgive my rudeness but I think the theoretical, theological BS laced through your post is messing you up. Compared to God the Eternal One these man-man ideas are an unnecessary burden. Check out your language:

before and after being saved, baptized, give my life to Christ, I couldn't hurt God anymore, go back to Christ, condemned straight to hell, I want this world to end but I'll probably be in the lake of fire...

You think you can hurt God the Infinite LOLL! Seriously you need to sight other perspectives. Islam is another holy way of life but there's no talk about worshiping Jesus or being "saved". You can't imagine hell any more than the return of Jesus. Those are within the realm of God which is not our domain. You don't know the judgement of God so focus on what you do know. It seems like your're caught up listening to the words of preachers instead of just being yourself.

Give God Thanks and Praise! God created the sun, and families, voices, turtles, sleep, and rain! Everything! Just like all the elements that's our roll, to be in harmony with God. Enjoy yourself and even your stupid habit; maybe then you can quit feeling guilty and put it in perspective. Love is everywhere and once we feel that the need for material pleasures will just fade away.

 

[Daze]

Jesus Christ is coming, yes I'm happy because I want this world to end but I'll probably be in the lake of fire, am I scared? No, not really? I deserve it I guess

I'm guessing you are a teenager since you mention grades. College maybe..

Hell is real and some of the more pious people from the past used to burn themselves with a candle to remind them of hell, distracting them from engaging in evil deeds. You could try this yourself as a deterrent.

I'm not sure what you mean by being attacked, but i know the devil does not enter the house where Surah Baqarah is played. This will help you, whether you use it or not is up to you. I suggest you avoid occultic things. If djinn latch onto you it can be very difficult to get rid of them. Its best not to call on them in the first place.

God loves all of his creation, even those who are disobedient. If God didn't love you, you'd have no food on your table, clothes on your back or roof over your head. Parents to come home to, friends to share your troubles with. Eyesight, hearing... things you constantly neglect, like walking, are all gifts from God..

The blessings we receive daily are literally uncountable.. If some guy came to your house giving you a dozen roses everyday, the last thing to cross your mind would be.. this guy does not care.

I suggest you take a page out of the Bible and pray the way Jesus did. With your head on the ground. Ask the Almighty to show you the truth.
I do believe it is the only way you will ever find it. If it makes it easier look up a video for how the early Christians used to pray.

May the Creator ease your path.

 

[Yellowbunzz tasty]

Forgive my rudeness but I think the theoretical, theological BS laced through your post is messing you up. Compared to God the Eternal One these man-man ideas are an unnecessary burden. Check out your language:

before and after being saved, baptized, give my life to Christ, I couldn't hurt God anymore, go back to Christ, condemned straight to hell, I want this world to end but I'll probably be in the lake of fire...

You think you can hurt God the Infinite LOLL! Seriously you need to sight other perspectives. Islam is another holy way of life but there's no talk about worshiping Jesus or being "saved". You can't imagine hell any more than the return of Jesus. Those are within the realm of God which is not our domain. You don't know the judgement of God so focus on what you do know. It seems like your're caught up listening to the words of preachers instead of just being yourself.

The ideas I focused on aren't man-man moreso I read about them in the Bible,

Matthew 3:6 (KJV) And were baptized of him in Jordan, confessing their sins.

Ephesians 4:30 (KJV) And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Revelation 20:10 (KJV) And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

I don't understand what would be funny about hurting God moreso the Bible does elaborate that one mustn't grieve the Holy Spirit.

Islam isn't a holy religion whatsoever but moving along towards being myself? I don't necessarily understand what you mean by that statement, do you mean I should do everything my impulses require?

Give God Thanks and Praise! God created the sun, and families, voices, turtles, sleep, and rain! Everything! Just like all the elements that's our roll, to be in harmony with God. Enjoy yourself and even your stupid habit; maybe then you can quit feeling guilty and put it in perspective. Love is everywhere and once we feel that the need for material pleasures will just fade away.

My "stupid habit" is an actual sin which is what contributes to the guilt. I'm not sure if you get it but I don't want material pleasures moreso a feeling of acceptance, joy and guidance not that.

 

[Michi]

Hi. I’m sorry to hear you are struggling with addiction. Without going into detail I also dealt with the same issues including the occult. Overcoming addiction is an ongoing fight. We must stay close to God.

What I know is that God will never turn his back on you if you go to him. Confess to him in private. Ask him to help you. It cannot be done without him.

There is a lot of noise in dealing with the occult and it will mess you up in the head. Unfortunately there is a lot of noise on this forum too that will drag you into arguments.

Please reread John 3:16.
You are a child of God. Please continue to seek God however and whenever you can. I will pray for you today.

 

[seekinheart]

I've found myself in a rough predicament lately in terms of faith, especially after reading the thread posted by @seekinheart.(it just sparked what was already there).

So I struggled with a particular addiction before and after being saved, I even ventured on to feed that addiction the morning before I was baptized as a means to enjoy myself one more time before I give my life to Christ. Well... that didn't end well since I lived a full year going on and off this strenuous addiction to the point where I straight up gave up because I felt as though I couldn't hurt God anymore. However that slowly turned into hating him and that turned into ignoring him.

I spent the last 9 months of the year placing my belief in subliminals and anything related to the law of attraction as a means of coping with life in general. I found myself in a spot where I began actively trying to find spells, quantum jumping on YouTube using candles and stuff just to get, real friends, an actual home, the best grades, a good family dynamic and my ideal appearance.

These all had a hold on me despite them not working and instead my grades were plummeting despite putting in work.

And during this time I was moreso interested in the occult to the point where I would go everyday just binging on videos about satanic elites, so much so they somewhat became my own twisted inspiration. (except for the killing babies part and r*pe and sacrifices.)

And throughout this journey I've learnt some things since the LOA has a focal point on the 'you, you, you' campaign. It's that people will treat you based on how you let them and that people will love you when you're as sinful as them (this includes family). And throughout that journey I developed an underlying hatred for people and wondered why Christians even waste time trying to convert people at times, people who are stubborn and selfish. I even began reciprocal relationships with my family and simply saw them as people I'd be able to live without in the future.

Moving along to my grades, I basically flunked my two subjects, the one I failed, the other I flunked miserably and this seemed like a revelation that the LOA would never work for me. Before this time I had watched some Christian tiktok which inspired me to go back to Christ and so I started, and the day I started was the last day I started switching my lights off to sleep.

I was terrified of sleeping because I was scared to be attacked, when I wouldn't partake in my habitual sin I'd simply be scared of sleeping however that wore off after a while and it was only due to forgetting that the devil exists, which was a bad mistake.

Now the same addiction is back and thriving and I simply can't stop.

Ive believed in faith based on works to which I've been told is bad, although I've felt God is more easy on letting other people sin, more loving while they get a free ticket to him meanwhile I do one thing and I feel screwed and condemned straight to hell.

Jesus Christ is coming, yes I'm happy because I want this world to end but I'll probably be in the lake of fire, am I scared? No, not really? I deserve it I guess

I don't feel God loves me, but I feel like he loves other people. Just not me. And I don't think I love him either anymore.

This is a rambling message however I hope you can understand.

I felt very similar to you, and still do at times.

I feel that your involvement in the occult is just like a kid acting out in rebellion to their parents because that's how I felt. Like I wanted to piss him off because I didn't like what he was doing to me.

We have to believe that it is for our sake whatever he is putting us through and our goodness and just take it a day at a time but I'm pretty sure if u turn ur back u will feel the emptiness i felt. It's very tough we live in a very tough generation.

Pray I say just ask for it ask for him to humble u and pray for help with unbelief and faithfulness is all u can do. Pour it all out and just let him work even if it takes a long time.

No easy answers here because I know how hard it is and I think only the holy spirit can renew ur mind and sanctify u which is a process

 

[seekinheart]

Also in terms of God not loving u read the prodigal son. God loves us all. Even though it maybe doesn't feel like it at times.

 

[Lyfe]

I would like to point out that baptism doesnt save nor is it the moment that one is written down in the book of life. The moment of salvation occurs when someone genuinely turns to God in repentance and confesses Christ as their personal lord and savior by believing in him.

The very instant you or anyone does these things is the moment of salvation. It is at this moment that you become sealed with the holy spirit and get adopted into the family of God as a son or daughter. God becomes your father and whether you realise it or not he has a plan for you and goes before you making a way. All he asks is that we trust him. Gods timing is never our own timing. More often than not we are in Gods waiting room and its very easy to lose patience. We can't possibly know the mind of God. If you are doing everything on your part then believe that there is a purpose behind your time of struggle. It is meant to show and teach you some things before being delievered. If God delievered you right away you would miss out on some very important lessons. God can deliever someone right away and with others there is a timeline. Dont let it deter you from strengthening and renewing your spirit in his word and making time to fellowship with him in prayer. If you fall and sin repent, get back up, confess your sin, and ask for forgiveness and the blood of Jesus Christ shall cleanse you of all uncleanneas and unrighteousness and restore your ability to appear before the throne of grace. Renounce the occult and learn how to pray against the powers of darkness. We live in a very wicked time. God is going to let you get beat down if it makes you a more fit soldier in his army of light.

 

[Lyfe]

I know your soul is not tainted, even though you’ve been told so.

If your addiction is negatively affecting your life either try and get it under control or stop but don’t stay in a guilt spiral over it.

I don’t know what it is but I have a
feeling it’s your perceived guilt over it that is worse than anything else.

God does hate you, he hates all of us, he has made it very clear that we are disgusting nasty creatures who could never possibly satisfy him and are doomed unless we follow exactly the right religion.

Do yourself a favor and reject him first, you’ll free yourself from the grips of a deranged tyrant and can enjoy your life.

The Bible acctually says that God is mindful of man and does indeed care for his wellbeing. He is even kind to the unthankful and to the evil. Apart from God there is no life There is only existing and satisfying your own belly and the hollow desires of the flesh. If you dont have God then you have nothing. It makes no sense to deny and hate yourself by denying God. He designed you in a specific way that makes you dependent on his love for sustenance. You are truly striving against the wind and in rejecting God you are rejecting and hating your own soul.

Proverbs 8:36
King James Version

36 But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death.

 

[seekinheart]

“He designed you in a specific way that makes you dependent on his love for sustenance”

Just like an abuser making someone dependent totally on him.
His love is twisted and warped and he clearly hates his creations.

How does one reconcile aliens care when they do not intervene themselves at least to most people how is that any different

 

[Lyfe]

“He designed you in a specific way that makes you dependent on his love for sustenance”

Just like an abuser making someone dependent totally on him.
His love is twisted and warped and he clearly hates his creations.

You have been lied to and deceived by lying spirits. Your hatred for God feeds and strengthens them. It gives them power over you and a legal right to poison your mind. They are not your friend. God makes known to you his desire for you everyday on these forums. Why do you constantly demean and insult someone who tries to reach you everyday?

 

[Lyfe]

“I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created, and with them the animals,
The birds and the creatures that move along the ground, for I regret that I have made them”

Genesis 6-7.

DO YOU FEEL THE LOVE?

How much evil has to occur on earth before pushing the reset button is justified? Thousands of years past before God hit that reset button and he didnt do it without warning. Imagine how many would be suffering to that evil if God hadnt put an end to it.

 

[Lyfe]

Whatever makes you feel better about God’s genocidal behavior. Every dictator with millions of victims likewise thinks they are pressing the reset button and purging the world of evil.

So then God should have allowed that evil to spread like a progressive disease?

 

[Alanantic]

“I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created, and with them the animals,
The birds and the creatures that move along the ground, for I regret that I have made them”

Genesis 6-7.

DO YOU FEEL THE LOVE?

I think the Original Sin was God's. He's the one who designed a universe where Life must eat itself to survive. So those cute little animals started sprouting claws, fangs, big bunny ears to hear & oversize legs to run, etc. Thou shalt not kill. How can we not? A vulture becomes the noblest of creatures, only eating what already died. Even plants fear death as they secrete toxins to ward off predators. But, even vegans have to eat something... Life itself grows from nature's violent lessons.

"The Tao(God/Nature/The Way) is not humane, it treats the 10,000 creatures (of which we are merely one) as straw dogs" (ie. expendable units). -- Lao Tzu

God should feel regret. Throwing the baby, bathwater, and bassinette out won't lessen those regrets, but shows "God" having a temper tantrum. Let's hope crusty Jehovah has a Mother that can straighten him out.

 

[Alanantic]

You have been lied to and deceived by lying spirits. Your hatred for God feeds and strengthens them. It gives them power over you and a legal right to poison your mind. They are not your friend. God makes known to you his desire for you everyday on these forums. Why do you constantly demean and insult someone who tries to reach you everyday?

Boy, that's a lot of accusation. Funny, I thought "the accuser" was...Hmmmm...SATAN!!!! (lighten, the Hell, up!)

 

[Lyfe]

Boy, that's a lot of accusation. Funny, I thought "the accuser" was...Hmmmm...SATAN!!!! (lighten, the Hell, up!)

The Bible says that our wrestle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces in the heavenly realms.

 

[Lyfe]

I think the Original Sin was God's. He's the one who designed a universe where Life must eat itself to survive. So those cute little animals started sprouting claws, fangs, big bunny ears to hear & oversize legs to run, etc. Thou shalt not kill. How can we not? A vulture becomes the noblest of creatures, only eating what already died. Even plants fear death as they secrete toxins to ward off predators. But, even vegans have to eat something... Life itself grows from nature's violent lessons.

"The Tao(God/Nature/The Way) is not humane, it treats the 10,000 creatures (of which we are merely one) as straw dogs" (ie. expendable units). -- Lao Tzu

God should feel regret. Throwing the baby, bathwater, and bassinette out won't lessen those regrets, but shows "God" having a temper tantrum. Let's hope crusty Jehovah has a Mother that can straighten him out.

You have made it abundantly clear that your only purpose on this forum is to slander God and Christians. Your quite bitter against a God that you contend doesnt even exist.

 

[Michi]

Let’s bring the focus back to the person behind Yellowbunzz tasty who has poured herself into her post. Let’s refrain from enabling another Starman/Atlantic show. We’ve all been there and done that and it’s becoming a broken record.

@Yellowbunzz tasty
Once you confess to Jesus and receive help from him daily it’s inevitable that you will stumble from time to time. But Jesus has mercy on us. He forgives countless times and you can forgive yourself.

You will become stronger, more refined, and able to do God’s will which is to help others in real life, not on screens.

At first it may be a little awkward, but as you surround yourself with other people who serve, the salt of the earth, you will learn from them and grow in Christ.

The future is bright when you wholeheartedly allow Christ back into your life.

Hebrews 12:1-2
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

 

[Alanantic]

Let’s bring the focus back to the person behind Yellowbunzz tasty who has poured herself into her post. Let’s refrain from enabling another Starman/Atlantic show. We’ve all been there and done that and it’s becoming a broken record.

@Yellowbunzz tasty
Once you confess to Jesus and receive help from him daily it’s inevitable that you will stumble from time to time. But Jesus has mercy on us. He forgives countless times and you can forgive yourself.

You will become stronger, more refined, and able to do God’s will which is to help others in real life, not on screens.

At first it may be a little awkward, but as you surround yourself with other people who serve, the salt of the earth, you will learn from them and grow in Christ.

The future is bright when you wholeheartedly allow Christ back into your life.

Hebrews 12:1-2
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

If I sound like a broken record, you're the one that broke it. I know EXACTLY what she's going through, having gone through that myself, and was able to escape. My heart aches for people like that trying to find reason in an unreasonable belief system. Obviously, you're comfortable in your delusions, but people like her aren't. I'm not really worried about you.

 

[Lyfe]

If I sound like a broken record, you're the one that broke it. I know EXACTLY what she's going through, having gone through that myself, and was able to escape. My heart aches for people like that trying to find reason in an unreasonable belief system. Obviously, you're comfortable in your delusions, but people like her aren't. I'm not really worried about you.

There is no real freedom in your solution. It only forces one to then try and find reason in an unreasonable world.