Spoil A Wish

Etagloc

Etagloc

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Haich said:
Granted, you don't give her a bath and she develops mange and has to be adopted due to neglect.

I wish I had green eyes. Brown is nice but there's something so beautiful about green/hazel eyes
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Granted! You have green eyes but... suddenly the thought strikes you... "there is something so beautiful about brown eyes"... you sit on a bench, sigh and wistfully wish you could be blessed with beautiful brown eyes.

I wish I was rich and I owned the world's supply of organic coconut water.
 
polymoog

polymoog

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zone:
I wish I could play the saxophone.

you have to learn to play the saxophone with bill clinton, who starts putting his hands in inappropriate places while you practice. you learn the basics, but are so creeped out by the experience that you never want to look at a saxophone again.

i wish i had a sailboat.
 
JoChris

JoChris

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Your wish is granted.
However you get a secondhand yacht in worse condition that you realised despite your careful inspections.
You miss the typhoon warning on the radio until out at sea, then realise too late that your rudders are damaged. You manage to get safely to shore but your yacht is dashed to pieces in the process. Afterwards when you try to make a boat insurance claim you discover that you are only covered for boat damage if in calm waters only.

I wish that I could become an astronaut.
 
polymoog

polymoog

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I wish that I could become an astronaut.

your wish gets transferred to another department in the spoil-a-wish foundation where its handled by foreigners overseas in order to cut corporate taxes in the US. your wish is routed to italy, where it is translated as "spaceman". the italian guy behind the desk sips his espresso and looks and says, "eh, dis-a person wanna be a specimen! okeh, i-ah gonna make-a him a specimen! but he don` tell-a me what kinda specimen! why like this!?" he throws down the paperwork and sends it back to the US.
in the US, it lands on a desk of a disgruntled spoil-a-wish foundation worker who missed his morning coffee. he transports you into the vacuum of space without a suit. for the moments you are alive, youre freezing like crazy and then youre face looks like arnold swartzeneggers in total recall before you explode.



i wish i had more time in the day for leisure.
 
JoChris

JoChris

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I will still answer your wish, despite the rude interruption
The only good thing about the bubonic plague having been and gone (and wiping out the entire town in the process) is that you can hang your washing wherever you want.
DesertRose said:
Granted......watch out! Sandstorm coming.......signed your nomad sis.;)

edit: I wish I could fly.
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Wish is granted. Unfortunately you become a duck, in duck season.



I wish I lived in a big city.
 
JoChris

JoChris

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You are sorry you made that wish. The genie was feeling overgenerous that day.

You are now missing the relative peace of only one child now you have quadruplets. 4 times the nappies/ diapers and bottles. You have needed to buy a huge car and you can't remember the last time you slept more than a few hours.

I wish I could speak another language.
 
Etagloc

Etagloc

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Granted! You become fluent in birdenese. You make many bird friends and become gradually less and less accustomed to human society. Your new-found friends' ability to fly eventually rubs off on you and you're able to fly. A handsome hawk named Hank asks you to marry him. At first you decline but you figure... "well... they let same sex get married these days so why not"... the two of you build a nest together. However, Hank starts seeing Islamic memes online (the nest has wifi) and converts to Islam. You prefer Christianity. Thus, the two of you spend the rest of your days squawking over which religion is correct and you end up with a birdache.

I wish I was good at small talk.
 
DesertRose

DesertRose

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Etagloc said:
I wish I was good at small talk.
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Granted! You became so good at small talk that the Russian old witch Baba Yaga decided to keep you 4Eva. She shrunk all of you and turned you into beautiful talking Matryoshka dolls for life.......till death does you in pieces.....in fact many pieces 10 dolls within dolls to be exact. :-(.


I wish I met the best living sage.
 
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JoChris

JoChris

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DesertRose said:
Granted! You became so good at small talk that the Russian old witch Baba Yaga decided to keep you 4Eva. She shrunk all of you and turned you into beautiful talking Matryoshka dolls for life.......till death does you in pieces.....in fact many pieces 10 dolls within dolls to be exact. :-(.


I wish I met the best living sage.
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Your wish has been sort of been granted, Chinese whispers style. The best, LARGEST sage was selected for you. Isn't bigger best anyway?

Wikipedia - Lantana camara, also known as big-sage (Malaysia), wild-sage, red-sage, white-sage (Caribbean) and tickberry (South Africa),[4] is a species of flowering plant within the verbena family, Verbenaceae, that is native to the American tropics.

When you met this "sage" you decided it was a lovely plant and decided it was just right for your house's garden. You bought many pots.



You have just planted one of the most invasive plants on Earth as your hedge. You might have just put surrounding native vegetation (smothering plant) and livestock animals (poisonous) at risk. You had better check it behaves itself in your country; in my state it is law it gets destroyed to prevent its further spread.

I want to get a wet season this summer. (Didn't get much rain thanks to El Nino).
 
DesertRose

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JoChris said:
I want to get a wet season this summer. (Didn't get much rain thanks to El Nino).
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Granted. Unfortunately, this is one instance in which the quantity is more important than the quality!

I wish I could go on a trip to Bali.....
 
JoChris

JoChris

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OK, you got your wish and you have arrived in Bali during the rainy reason. There are a lot of mosquitoes around.

You forgot to get your adult booster shots before your trip and you are now quite sick. You have been sent to a Bali hospital and have been diagnosed with Dengue Fever. Hope you've got good medical insurance.... you'll need it...


I want to get good fashion sense.
 
JoChris

JoChris

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polymoog said:
wish is granted. your sons new adopted sibling is ME, and we get to spend lots of time together.


i wish i had a vacation house in thailand.
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Granted. You have just moved into a beautiful house surrounded by units currently rented by a constantly changing tide of Airbnb foreign backpackers. You'll need to add surveillance systems, install a large fence and buy a few dogs to scare off students trying to get back into their places after losing their keys in the sand while partying.
 
JoChris

JoChris

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DesertRose said:
That sage comment is a classic JoChris:p



I will not grant you that wish:eek:
Apologies:oops:
I would rather see your UNIQUE style of fashion even if you end up looking as if you are casting for..... Alice in Wonderland.;)
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I don't have any unique fashion style. I wear general Aussie middle-aged women clothes normally.
Comfortable t-shirt, below knee shorts, for gardening and housework. The climate is too hot to be stylish.

OK. I wish I could invent the next all-essential gadget, that no-one can imagine living without it anymore.
 
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