Why aren't all women feminists?

[Karrie]

What are your reasons as a woman? I'm genuinely curious.

Feminism today annoys the hell out of me! Just like many other movements that started out of need and a desire to bring about a good change, today it has been hijacked by corrupt institutions that use it to manipulate, divide and turn people against each other and forward their own agenda. I don't think women in western society today are oppressed in any way. I've never felt discriminated or oppressed for my gender in my life and I'm from a Eastern European country. In fact in the western world men get many disadvantages compared to women so I think feminism has shifted the inequality in the other direction and that's just not cool.

 

[Maes17]

It isn’t always a “choice” to just leave an abusive relationship. It isn’t that simple whatsoever.

also FYI: the MOST dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she tries to leave. It often results in death. I really hate how this was just downplayed and turned into a shitty personal life choice.

I cannot really identify to that type of lifestyle/corruption so from the outside looking in it’s easy for me to say “walk away”.

I couldn’t bring myself to treat my wife like that, so it’s hard to understand from my perspective

 

[Maes17]

Feminism today annoys the hell out of me! Just like many other movements that started out of need and a desire to bring about a good change, today it has been hijacked by corrupt institutions that use it to manipulate, divide and turn people against each other and forward their own agenda. I don't think women in western society today are oppressed in any way. I've never felt discriminated or oppressed for my gender in my life and I'm from a Eastern European country. In fact in the western world men get many disadvantages compared to women so I think feminism has shifted the inequality in the other direction and that's just not cool.

Feminism isn’t a bad thing.
There are extremists just like any other in life that gives the movement a bad cause.

Good intentioned movements often get hijacked to create more division. I do acknowledge stuff like abusive relationships etc exist. I cannot relate in a sense, so I admit I come across naive on this subject.

Raising awareness is good. But to further the fight gets sketchy imo. Any of you who do go about this movement in the real world. You do have support. I just think even the best of hearted intentions get lost in the narrative of all.

There’s too many differences, power and brainwashed people to make a legitimate difference without instigating opposition.

 

[Aero]

I am willing to bet that she was abused in some way shape or form WHILE married. Her husband was her abuser and she was a targeted individual even then. When she chose to leave (why leave if everything’s great?) and he lost control of the situation and the ability to keep targeting her 24/7 he involved other people in the abuse - So the people targeting her expanded. The Original catalyst wasn’t her leaving per se, her leaving just made it infinitely WORSE. That is what happens to abused women pretty much across the board - that’s why DV assistance agencies often make intricate plans to pull women out. It isn’t because they are being dramatic, it’s because it is necessary. Unfortunately, lawyers will do what they’re paid for and the majority of judges are elderly and “old school” or stupid - they don’t understand the pattern of violence in domestic situations and while they should there is no one pushing for that on a policy level. Even training them doesn’t mean they will put it in practice.

ive seen plenty of married women targeted by these same systems. I’ve seen numerous married and single men as well. Neighbors or scorned Lovers or ex friends or Pissed off family who call CPS once a week for years trying to get people’s kids taken away Or send them to jail etc - sometimes it works. There is more than one way to be a targeted individual and it isn’t just single people who end up in that situation. It is WAY more likely when your poor because you can’t afford your own pit bull lawyer and single women are more likely to be poor. So in that respect... there you have it. I don’t think focusing on the gender or marital status of some victims is going to help the overarching category of victims of the system. Maybe focusing on the one trait they all have in common would be wiser.

I am pretty sure my ex's husband left because the only thing abusive about him is he was a cheating dirtbag. So that throws your theory off a little bit, but I understand cases where it would apply. From what I remember, people just didn't like her for standing up for herself. Her dad is loaded with money, but he's not a father, if you catch my drift.

Lawyers are bloodsuckers. But ultimately, I agree the responsibility is on judges to have a clue, and they don't. Judges live in a literal bubble, so all they have to go on is character references, which can clearly be stacked against pretty much anyone. You can have a rich father, but it doesn't matter if he doesn't give a shit. Look, I'm not trying to get into my ex's family dynamics; let's say they were fucked.

Social capital is a complex idea, and plain monetary value is too two dimensional for my tastes. Like what's the solution, make more money? Sure, that will help many people, but it leaves the whole narcissistic hierarchy in place. In essence, social capital personifies an overabundance of self-importance. That's what I see all over the case of my ex. That case, as microcosm doesn't paint the entire picture, it's a rough draft. Maybe the specifics from that case become less important as the picture fills out.

I'm not trying to edit every piece or be the decider who's writing the whole book. I'm just trying to contribute like everyone else. The roadblocks I described could be negated by the right monetary policy. But I think we both know, that's a serious longshot. I'll take the shot, though. I'd rather hit up some narcissists.

 

[Tidal]

No we want a man with a Aston Martin DB9

That works both ways, for example a bloke could hit the ejector seat button to get rid of a nagging woman passenger..

 

[Tidal]

The irony is that many feminists have abandoned their femininity and become hardboiled nasty-minded man-haters..

 

[justjess]

And let the man completely off the hook?? He's just as guilty. Maybe husbands should start respecting their wives, ever thought about this? You are the kind of "feminist" who would blame prostitutes instead of blamig husbands for going to see porstitutes behind their wives' backs too.

Never said I was letting anyone off the hook. Especially not the husband. You can stop putting words in my mouth. Both parties hold responsibility and blame. Let’s not pretend that isn’t a real thing and a real problem and let’s not pretend like those women can’t bear responsibility for their own actions themselves. They can and they should. You want to slam on married women because they allied themselves with your “enemy” by falling in love - well, then it should be fair game to slam on single women for where they fail right? Some of them are so allied with your enemy that they will cut another women’s throat for sport. Which is a bigger enemy of feminism?

try to understand the difference between micro and macro. Might help you in life. And no my feminism doesn’t stop mattering when people have different views. Being a feminist does not mean I have to be cordial to someone who treats me Like shit Just because they have the same genitals as I do. It does not work like that. Sorry.

 

[AlcyoneSong]

That works both ways, for example a bloke could hit the ejector seat button to get rid of a nagging woman passenger..

Well we wouldn't HAVE to nag if you would just do what we asked the FIRST time, or give a good reason why it can't be done. XD

 

[morita]

You really are triggered, that's so funny.

try to understand the difference between micro and macro. Might help you in life.

That's ironic since I was gonna say the exact same thing to you.
maybe you should apply your own advice. I don't take advice from people I don't respect...for obvious reasons.

 

[Orwell's mentor]

You really are triggered, that's so funny.

That's ironic since I was gonna say the exact same thing to you.
maybe you should apply your own advice. I don't take advice from people I don't respect and whom aren't "that smart"...for obvious reasons.

Is there ANYONE you get along with on here? I mean SERIOUSLY! I'm guessing you must bleed vinegar with your responses.

 

[AlcyoneSong]

I have a bottle of tequila and some limes Morita brings the salt and it’s a party!

 

[Tidal]

Well we wouldn't HAVE to nag if you would just do what we asked the FIRST time, or give a good reason why it can't be done. XD

The bloke who runs our local petshop (aged about 40) is one of the nicest blokes in the world and I happened to ask if he was married.
His face fell and he mumbled "Not any more", so I said "Sorry to hear that, what happened", and he answered "She turned evil".
I could see it was a painful subject for him so i let it drop.
My own sister "went evil" too after about 5 years of marriage and I had a ringside seat as the marriage went up the spout.
Sadly it's as if satan enters many women and turns them from warm loving wives into nasty-minded disloyal nags..
As the old saying goes- "There's nothing a woman wouldn't do for her hub at the start, and there's nothing they wouldn't do TO him later."

PS- and yes I know there are lousy hubs around too, can anybody tell me why women choose to marry them?

Some 'before and after the honeymoon' pics-

 

[AlcyoneSong]

The bloke who runs our local petshop (aged about 40) is one of the nicest blokes in the world and I happened to ask if he was married.
His face fell and he mumbled "Not any more", so I said "Sorry to hear that, what happened", and he answered "She turned evil".
I could see it was a painful subject for him so i let it drop.
My own sister "went evil" too after about 5 years of marriage and I had a ringside seat as the marriage went up the spout.
Sadly it's as if satan enters many women and turns them from warm loving wives into nasty-minded disloyal nags..
As the old saying goes- "There's nothing a woman wouldn't do for her hub at the start, and there's nothing they wouldn't do TO him later."

PS- and yes I know there are lousy hubs around too, can anybody tell me why women choose to marry them?

Some 'before and after the honeymoon' pics-

Not my circus not my monkeys.

 

[justjess]

You really are triggered, that's so funny.

That's ironic since I was gonna say the exact same thing to you.
maybe you should apply your own advice. I don't take advice from people I don't respect...for obvious reasons.

“Triggered”

what are you an incel? Lmao... I don’t know who you really are hiding behind that computer screen but I can guarantee your not some badass black feminist queen.

let’s be clear here hun; I’m not talking to you in this manner because your black or because you are a woman. I’m talking to you in this manner because you are a garbage human being. Remember when I said you should judge people by their character? Here I am living my own advice.

do you care to talk about any of the actual subject matter or do you just come here to take digs at white women?

 

[Cintra]

The bloke who runs our local petshop (aged about 40) is one of the nicest blokes in the world and I happened to ask if he was married.
His face fell and he mumbled "Not any more", so I said "Sorry to hear that, what happened", and he answered "She turned evil".
I could see it was a painful subject for him so i let it drop.
My own sister "went evil" too after about 5 years of marriage and I had a ringside seat as the marriage went up the spout.
Sadly it's as if satan enters many women and turns them from warm loving wives into nasty-minded disloyal nags..
As the old saying goes- "There's nothing a woman wouldn't do for her hub at the start, and there's nothing they wouldn't do TO him later."

PS- and yes I know there are lousy hubs around too, can anybody tell me why women choose to marry them?

Some 'before and after the honeymoon' pics-

Yeah, must be that snake in the garden of eden.
Stared at them one too many times with its baleful eye...

 

[Maes17]

Well we wouldn't HAVE to nag if you would just do what we asked the FIRST time, or give a good reason why it can't be done. XD

We’re not supermen ladies. I know our pride takes over. As I get older, I’m admitting some stuff is out of my skillset. I can change brakes, oil, an engine belt, I can build a fence. I cannot fix a dying heater, I am not knowledgeable with plumbing

 

[Maes17]

“Triggered”

what are you an incel? Lmao... I don’t know who you really are hiding behind that computer screen but I can guarantee your not some badass black feminist queen.

let’s be clear here hun; I’m not talking to you in this manner because your black or because you are a woman. I’m talking to you in this manner because you are a garbage human being. Remember when I said you should judge people by their character? Here I am living my own advice.

do you care to talk about any of the actual subject manner or do you just come here to take digs at white women?

White women and men

 

[AlcyoneSong]

White women and men

Ehh sexism is in every race and gender. The problem is when that mode of thinking is used to oppress and prevent a group from furthering their social economical worth by creating systems and ideologies which prevent said people from progress.

 

[Maes17]

Ehh sexism is in every race and gender. The problem is when that mode of thinking is used to oppress and prevent a group from furthering their social economical worth by creating systems and ideologies which prevent said people from progress.

I agree sexism is in every race and gender.

I feel the sooner we can all agree people are good or evil then things become a lot more clear. My issue is humans have a complex thought/mindset approach.
We’re influenced by a lot of outside factors.

So to hear all these abuse/oppression issues is kinda a shock to me. I take a disconnected interest. I say disconnected because I don’t know what goes into abusive relationships/oppression. I’ve grown up fairly oppress free I would say or I’m just oblivious to it.

My parents raised me to respect people. Sure I can be a prick when life allows me to.

Overall. I love my wife. I couldn’t imagine putting her through emotional/physical harm.

Why someone would do that to someone they “love”?
It doesn’t make sense.

Same with oppression. I’m considered a minority. However I grew up pretty stable. Both parents worked but gave me attention, typical american public education etc. So maybe I was shielded from somethings.

Now I see a lot of my dad’s side of the family. I use the term ghetto hood rats. That’s what they are. Ghetto, backstabbing, food stampers, dramatic, love & hip hop etc.

Because they struggle in life, they feel the need to slander and talk about their successful relatives. So people like that, I lose sympathy for cause I see it firsthand culturally.

So when I come here, my point of view is to come off as understanding. I respect anyone’s opposition to my stance. But if someone wants to get hostile etc. It’s hard for me to go any further

 

[AlcyoneSong]

I agree sexism is in every race and gender.

I feel the sooner we can all agree people are good or evil then things become a lot more clear. My issue is humans have a complex thought/mindset approach.
We’re influenced by a lot of outside factors.

So to hear all these abuse/oppression issues is kinda a shock to me. I take a disconnected interest. I say disconnected because I don’t know what goes into abusive relationships/oppression. I’ve grown up fairly oppress free I would say or I’m just oblivious to it.

My parents raised me to respect people. Sure I can be a prick when life allows me to.

Overall. I love my wife. I couldn’t imagine putting her through emotional/physical harm.

Why someone would do that to someone they “love”?
It doesn’t make sense.

Same with oppression. I’m considered a minority. However I grew up pretty stable. Both parents worked but gave me attention, typical american public education etc. So maybe I was shielded from somethings.

Now I see a lot of my dad’s side of the family. I use the term ghetto hood rats. That’s what they are. Ghetto, backstabbing, food stampers, dramatic, love & hip hop etc.

Because they struggle in life, they feel the need to slander and talk about their successful relatives. So people like that, I lose sympathy for cause I see it firsthand culturally.

So when I come here, my point of view is to come off as understanding. I respect anyone’s opposition to my stance. But if someone wants to get hostile etc. It’s hard for me to go any further

I think people are a mix of good and bad. We aren't all good, we aren't all bad. Just in the formative years of learning, early childhood, our impressions of how we understand "love", "empathy", "caring", "kindness" are formed.

An example of this is say a kid who grows up on a farm, and who sees dad slaughter animals for both food, and for when they cease to be productive/useful or are injured. A father may say to the child, "I'm doing this to keep it from suffering more." So the child learns that a quick death is better than a long one. That child may not be upset over the death of a chicken, but the same child may be devastated over the death of their pet dog. If a child is exposed to war, there have been studies that show they exhibit PTSD, but also signs of sociopathy as well.

Likewise, if a child learns that they are "oppressed" from family members criticizing a system that has historically kept their forefathers down due to racism and prejudice,(yes that happened even in the northern states) then they are less likely to want to try and move beyond that mindset to see opportunity because they already believe that opportunity for them, at least, doesn't exist. The only other option is to exploit the system, make fast money, and hope to live past 30. (ok that was bleak)

However, I also believe that if someone can show kids another way, not through empty programs but just taking the time to mentor and support even offer an encouraging word, an affirmation, I'm not sure, but it might actually make a difference. If politicians can see through the red tape, jargon, and see the people. To listen to the people, and make active policy to help motivate and improve the opportunities of a new generation... I think we might be surprised.

Regarding Oppression, maybe it is a shock, and the argument could be made that in the west, women as a whole are not "oppressed" to the same extent as those in other countries where the system of government is not just patriarchal but also theocracy.

An example of this is Iran when they removed the monarchy they replaced it with a sort of dictatorship which forbid many western ideas, practices, culture and in a matter of one day transformed the lives of many women and girls by removing the education, freedom of expression, and human rights.

Another form is what you see in certain parts of Africa, such as Nigeria where girls are captured by gangs posing as religious zealots, sold to work as prostitutes and labor for the high ranking "officers". Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chibok_schoolgirls_kidnapping

Again, this is also seen in other areas of the world where girls are sold by their parents some believing to people who will get them jobs in a city, and help the family out of poverty only to have them on the streets for certain tourists who know where to find them. They are trafficked across borders and have no rights, freedoms, and live in fear as their captors threaten to harm their loved ones and family if they even try to escape. Most of the victims are ... girls. Source: https://kontinentalist.com/stories/how-does-sex-trafficking-happen-to-women-and-girls-in-southeast-asia

So yeah, oppression exists. Patriarchy exists too. Abuse exists. Racism and Institutional Racism exists. Even in our own backyards.
Want to stop it?
1. Educate yourself.
2. Be a good example
3. Support causes that help rescue people who are trapped, there are many to choose from so you can do your own
4. Raise your family to continue to love and support each other, and call out behavior/ideas that do not reflect that mentality
5. Forgive and give people a chance to do right, and when they get it right
6. PRAISE the positive.

Continue to love and respect your wife, it's a good thing.